


Beacon Hills Is Alive...With the Sound of Bachelor's

by spikescrypt



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 03:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1154613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikescrypt/pseuds/spikescrypt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles becomes an unwilling participant in a bachelor auction. Derek has a front row seat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beacon Hills Is Alive...With the Sound of Bachelor's

**_Beacon Hills Is Alive...With the Sound of Bachelor's_ **

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Beacon Hills High School's first ever bachelor auction. I am your very fashionable host Lydia Martin and I hope you all enjoy this first ever charity event. Today's highest bidders will win a romantic date with our gorgeous bachelor's and enjoy a complimentary lunch prepared by said bachelor. Now let us have the show commence. Please welcome our bachelors."

The students of Beacon Hills High School are in desperate need of new uniforms and sports equipment. Most of the members of the lacrosse team have heaps of scotch tape wrapped around their lacrosse sticks, barely holding the two parts together. The swim team can't use the diving board anymore because the hinges are so rusty that when someone attempts to jump, the board stays in place. And don't even mention how the girls' softball team is forced to use grass cleats even though they play on concrete. So it's safe to say that the school is in serious need of some significant donations.

This is why the principal decides to take suggestions from students on how the school can raise the funds. Naturally, Lydia strolls into his office in her stilettos and proposes that they auction off the male students of the school. After all, if there is one thing that Beacon Hills High has going for it, it is the fact that the male population are all extremely attractive. With a little persuasion and some strong hinting that if named host, Lydia's parents would make a substantial donation, the bachelor auction became a done deal.

Some of the guys thought this was a perfect opportunity to have girls fighting over them. Those male students signed up as soon as the event was announced. Others did not want to be on display like a piece of meat and refused to participate. However, after receiving a threatening visit from Lydia these young men eventually did join the auction.

Stiles was one of those boys who were being forced by Lydia to participate in the event. He didn't particularly want to be ogled by a whole auditorium of people. Nor did he believe that his boyfriend Derek would appreciate it. Derek was older than Stiles and already in college. He went to Stanford and drove home for three hours every weekend to see Stiles and his family. Derek had chiseled cheekbones that looked as if they were made out of glass and washboard abs that Stiles loved to run his hands over. He didn't know how he had gotten so lucky to score a bronze god like Derek but damned if he was going to do anything to jeopardize their relationship.

Except that Lydia had threatened to tell his dad how he hadn't really spent the night at Scott's last weekend. Instead, he and Derek had been snuggling under the stars in the wooded area behind the Hale property.

"Ready man?" Scott asks Stiles, breaking him out of his fantasy of him and Derek making out in their one person sleeping bag.

"Ugh, I guess. I really hate wearing a suit though," Stiles answers, tugging uncomfortably at his collar.

"Oh my gosh! You both look so dashing," Mrs. McCall gushes, walking towards them. "I just wanted to wish you both good luck, not that you'll need it. You'll be receiving bids left and right."

"Thanks Mrs. McCall," Stiles blushes.

"And I'm sure your boyfriend will be the first one bidding on you. If the glares he's throwing the other guests are any indication."

Stiles gapes at her. "Wait. Derek is here? I told him not to come. I didn't want him to have to see me being leered at like a turkey on Thanksgiving."

"Sorry hon. He's here. Maybe he couldn't resist seeing how dashing you look in your suit. Well, I should get back to my seat, good luck boys." She kisses both their cheeks and exits the backstage area where the bachelors are waiting.

...

"I cannot believe Derek is here," Stiles groans. "He's going to see me make a complete fool of myself."

Scott smirks. "I think Derek is used to you making a complete fool of yourself."

"Gee, thanks buddy. You know all the right things to say." Stiles says, nervously fiddling with his bowtie.

"Cheer up man. Maybe mom's right and Derek will totally bid on you," Scott grins.

"Why would he pay to go on a date with me when he can do that for free?"

"So no one else gets a chance. Duh!" Scott wiggles his eyebrows at Stiles. "Derek's totally the jealous type."

"Yeah," Stiles agrees. He still teases Derek about that one time when his boyfriend broke Matt Daehler's camera because he thought Matt had taken a picture of Stiles' ass.

"You two losers haven't dropped out of the auction yet?"

They turn and see Jackson sauntering towards them.

"You don't actually think either of you will get any bids do you?"

"Fuck off Jackson," Scott says.

"Yeah, go practice your Blue Steel in the mirror some more," Stiles taunts.

Jackson glares. "You two are pathetic." He brushes past them, knocking Stiles to the side. "Watch it loser, this is Hugo Boss."

"Dick," Stiles mutters. Scott nods his head in agreement.

Suddenly the speakers make a vibration as they turn on and Scott and Stiles hear Lydia announcing that the show is starting.

All of the boys are ordered to line up in the order they were given. Stiles waves to Scott as he goes to stand in the middle of the line.

...

On the stage is a small platform that the bachelor's will walk down as they are called. Then Lydia will read some facts about them that they wrote out about themselves. They will pose for the crowd and let the bidding commence. The person that bids the most will win a date with the bachelor. That top bidder will join their bachelor on the stage where the bachelor will hand the bidder a picnic basket of food that they have prepared. Stiles' basket contains a Tupperware container full of chicken salad, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and some apple slices. If Lydia tries telling Stiles one more time that cutting an apple into tiny pieces isn't cooking then he's going to lose his shit. Besides, if she wanted a chef then she should have gotten Bobby Flay to be a bachelor. So really, it's her own damn fault.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the hotties of Beacon Hills High," Lydia yells into her microphone.

The audience squeals and titters loudly, Stiles thinks they sound like a crowd of One Direction fans.

There's a small television backstage that allows the bachelor's to hear and see what is happening on the platform. Unfortunately, this does not give them any access to the audience. Even worse, it gives Stiles zero access to Derek.

The first boy is called and Stiles watches as a kid named James from his history class smiles nervously on stage. "James is an avid outdoorsman," Lydia narrates. "He spends his time fishing and camping. He also is part of the Bigfoot Field Workers Organization." Lydia pauses. _"Seriously?"_ she asks James contemptuously. He nods sheepishly. "All right," she continues. "We will start the bidding at fifty dollars. Are there any bets for James?"

"Fifty dollars," calls one girl.

"Sixty," calls another.

"Seventy."

"Eighty."

"Do I hear ninety?" Lydia asks. "No? Well than congratulations to the young lady in last year's Gucci shoes. You have won a date with your bachelor."

Stiles sees a blond girl smiling widely as she practically leaps onstage. James takes his picnic basket from the teacher handing them out and gives it to the girl. Then they both walk offstage, where they will be directed to a nearby classroom.

Stiles feels calmer now that he saw someone else get through this unscathed. He thinks that maybe it isn't such a big deal after all.

Danny takes the stage next and the crowd goes wild.

"Danny Mahealani is a talented athlete who enjoys surfing, lacrosse, and dancing the night away with a special someone. That someone could possibly be you. Danny, show us those adorable dimples."

Danny smiles and the crowd swoons. Stiles can hear the catcalls of both males and females. Half the audience ends up bidding on Danny and it takes almost twenty minutes before a winner is named. Eventually Danny's crush Ethan strolls onto the stage and grins suavely at Danny, looking as though he knows that six hundred dollars was worth every penny.

Apparently, that crush was completely reciprocated. Something tells Stiles that tomorrow those two will be Beacon Hill's newest ** _it_** couple.

When Stiles sees Scott walk onto the stage, he crosses his fingers and wishes his best friend luck.

"Scott McCall is co-captain of the lacrosse team and enjoys riding his motorbike. He works at the local animal clinic where he helps to take care of poor little sick and injured puppies" Lydia's voice gets unnervingly syrupy.

"Aww," coos a bunch of smitten girls in the audience.

Stiles grins, his best buddy is going to be just fine.

"Seven hundred dollars," a familiar voice calls out.

"And we have not only have Scott's highest bid of the night, but our highest bid overall so far. Do I hear any bids above seven hundred?"

There's utter silence in the auditorium.

"Come on people. The man isn't _that_ scary." Stiles can practically **_hear_** the smirk on Lydia's face.

Stiles can see Scott frozen in place. He just barely suppresses a laugh.

"Well then, congratulations Mr. Chris Argent," Lydia calls. "Go and get your man."

Stiles loses all ability to contain his laughter as he sees Scott dejectedly hand Mr. Argent his basket. The older man grabs hold of Scott's shoulder and pulls him off stage.

That's what Scott gets for dating the daughter of a terrifying arms dealer.

Stiles is so glad that Derek's family have already met him and think he is the cutest thing ever. Also, that they don't own any guns.

"Seven hundred is the number to beat. Let's see if our next bachelor can fulfill the task," Lydia recites. "Please welcome Jare—"

"I can beat that with my eyes closed," Coach Finstock yells. "Let me show you how it's done."

Stiles sees his coach run onstage, dressed in a track suit. Whistle tied unevenly around his neck. Clearly this was not part of the program.

"Thank you, coach but it was Jared's turn," Lydia tries to intervene.

"Jared's a puke machine with a mommy complex," Finstock interjects. "Time for a real man to take the stage. Start the bidding."

Stiles can imagine the glare on Lydia's face at having been interrupted.

"This is Coach Finstock," Lydia improvises. "He enjoys making our lacrosse team weep like little babies. Do I hear fifty dollars?"

Not one person speaks.

"Do I hear one dollar?" Lydia questions.

Stiles has never heard a room so crammed with people be so silent.

_**"Oh, come on!"**_ Finstock rushes angrily offstage.

"Really, Greenberg? You couldn't scrounge up one measly dollar," Stiles hears him yell.

"Moving on. Could we finally have Jared onstage," Lydia requests. Jared does in fact look as though he may vomit at any moment. Stiles feels for the guy.

...

The next bachelor to head out onto the stage is Jackson. Stiles watches as he struts onto the platform as though he's in a fashion show. Which, in Jackson's mind he probably is.

"Hands off ladies, this one's all mine," Lydia grins threateningly.

Several more of Stiles' classmates are called onto the stage. He can feel himself becoming more nervous the nearer his turn approaches.

All too soon he hears his name being called. "Now please welcome to the stage Stiles Stilinski!"

Stiles takes a deep breath and walks out from behind the curtain. He tries not to look at the audience much because that will end up freaking him out even more. He merely keeps his gaze straight ahead and walks onto the platform. He arranges his body in what he hopes is a sexy pose, hip cocked out and shoulder's back. He hopes he doesn't look too much like an idiot or worse, a serial killer. In his mind, he hears Tyra Banks yell 'work it girl.' Stiles should totally get Derek to enter that America's Top Model show. Now **_that_** would be worth watching.

"Stiles' idea of a good time is watching superhero movies and playing video games. This is exactly why I wouldn't go out with him."

Stiles frowns at Lydia's commentary.

"Plus his longest relationship has been with his Jeep."

_"Hey!"_ Stiles yells indignantly.

"He enjoys making sarcastic remarks that for some unknown reason many people find delightful. He says that if he could be anyone, he would be Batman," she snorts disparagingly. "Are there any bids?"

To Stiles it sounds as though she is not entirely convinced that that there **_will_** be any bids. He seriously needs to rethink their friendship.

"One thousand dollars."

Stiles squeaks and loses his pose as he almost stumbles face first onto the hard stage floor.

He catches himself just in time to prevent not only injury but total embarrassment.

Then he stares right into the mesmerizing green eyes of his boyfriend.

"Are you serious?" Lydia questions doubtfully.

Derek turns to her with one of his trademark glares. Stiles seriously thinks he practices them in the mirror.

"All right," Lydia concedes. "I highly doubt this but does anyone wish to outbid?"

Derek glares around the room, daring anyone to try. Stiles swallows nervously.

"Well then, congratulations to our high bidder of the night. He not only wins his bid on Stiles but his offer was by far the greatest. Let's have a round of applause for Derek Hale!"

The crowd claps for Derek, who looks down bashfully. Stiles thinks it's pretty much the cutest thing ever. If Stiles weren't already dating the man he would be writing some epic poetry about him. Hell, he might just do that anyway. Stiles seriously starts to contemplate if anything rhymes with tight ass.

"Okay Derek. Go and get your man," Lydia orders.

Stiles blinks as he sees Derek leap onto the stage, much as a large jungle cat would do.

A teacher who has unsuccessfully been trying to get Stiles' attention, thrusts his basket at him.

Stiles grabs onto the basket for dear life.

Derek stands right next to Stiles and looks him in the eye. Stiles holds the basket out for Derek to take but Derek grabs Stiles' arm and pulls the younger boy towards him. Before he realizes what's happening, Stiles is flush against Derek and being kissed like there's no tomorrow. He places his hand on the back of Derek's head to try and get him even closer.

Stiles hears catcalls and thinks that's probably the sound of Scott groaning loudly. "Break it up you two," Lydia bellows into the microphone. "The donation wasn't good enough for me to have to keep watching this display."

They break apart and Derek practically drags Stiles backstage.

...

"Don't get me wrong," Stiles jokes offstage. "My chicken salad **_is_** delicious but I don't think it's exactly worth a thousand dollars."

"You're worth it," Derek says. "You're worth everything to me."

Okay somebody really needs to shut Derek up before Stiles starts crying like a little baby.

Which is just what he does.

"Eww, Gross!" Scott complains, as he runs up and sees them kissing. "Go away," Stiles mumbles from the corner of his mouth.

"I cannot believe Derek paid one thousand **_freaking_** dollars for you," Scott complains. "And now you get to spend your whole date making out while I have to listen to Mr. Argent's threats."

_Stiles and Derek carry on kissing._

"Seriously you guys! Mr. Argent says he's going to shoot me if I ever hurt Allison. He even showed me the gun he keeps tucked into his pants leg."

_Still kissing._

"He just bid on me so that we have a whole day alone where he gets to tell me all of the things he could do to me."

_They're still kissing._

"You both suck. I'm going to go see if Jared needs a best friend."

"Okay buddy. Have fun," Stiles says from around Derek's jaw.

Scott glares and walks off.

...

Stiles and Derek are lying on the floor of Stiles' room, eating the contents of the picnic basket.

"So," Stiles says, around a mouthful of peanut butter. "Tell me honestly. I promise not to judge or be angry. Did you bid so much money on me because you were jealous that I could be going on a date with someone else?"

"Did you want to go out with someone else?"

"Hell no," Stiles answers. "I never would have been a part of that damn auction if Lydia hadn't made me. But you knew that already."

"I guess there was a part of me that was worried. I mean, if a person had a chance to spend an entire day alone with you, how could they not end up falling for you?"

Stiles snorts. "I think you're forgetting Lydia's speech today describing only a portion of my many flaws."

"All part of her act. She wants people to think she doesn't care, even when she does. When we started dating, she told me that you were the most special person she knew. And if I ever hurt you, my body would be scattered across the Pacific Ocean."

"Aww. She does care." Stiles almost feels bad for rethinking their friendship. **_Almost._** He was still pissed about that jibe on his Jeep. No one insults Roscoe, no one.

"Plus I know how you've been worried about going to different colleges. I thought we could use a day alone together. So, your mine for the day Stilinski."

"Just for the day?"

Derek licks his lips. Stiles fights down the urge to connect Derek's tongue with his own.

"You could be mine forever if you wanted," Derek says, eyes dark.

"Oh, I want. I definitely want. This is why I applied to Stanford."

Derek's eyebrows rise in surprise. "You did? I thought you wanted to attend Colombia."

"Nah. I thought about it but I really don't want to freeze my ass off in New York City. Did you know that it was only five degrees there one day last month? I'd probably end up with frostbite all over my-eep."

Derek grabs Stiles and pulls him close. Stiles runs his fingers slowly through his boyfriend's hair.

"Besides, I would be miserable being so far away from my dad and Scott."

Derek scowls at Stiles. "Those are the only ones you'd miss?"

"Oh right! I can't forget Danny."

Derek growls softly and Stiles chuckles. "You know I'd miss you most of all."

Derek kisses his chin. "Wait," he says worriedly. "What if you don't get into Stanford?"

Stiles smiles. "You're wrecking my surprise here. I was going to give you this after dessert," he says, walking over to his desk.

"By dessert, do you mean that package of pre-cut apple slices?"

"Hey! Show some appreciation. And I actually meant another kind of dessert," Stiles wiggles his eyebrows.

"You're hopeless," Derek says.

"Stanford doesn't think so. Here, read it and weep," he tosses a thick envelope over to Derek.

"Derek scans the document and grins. "You got in?"

"How's that for hopeless? Guess you're stuck with me after all."

Derek pulls him into a hug. "Couldn't think of anyone else I would rather be stuck with."

"Aww shucks. You say the sweetest lines. Maybe you could help me write a poem I was planning. I just need to think of something to compare your ass to."

Derek cups his cheek and rubs small circles into his skin. "I love you, Stiles."

"I love you too, big guy. And you didn't even need to spend a thousand dollars on me to see it."

"No, but I'm glad I did anyway."

"So am I. Now come over here and let me get you your money's worth."

...


End file.
